I want a smoke and I want to get drunk and I want to be kissed and I want to feel something
liking someone who is already in a relationship
Liking someone who likes you back, but they’re already in a relationship
Liking someone who doesn’t like you back
Liking someone who doesn’t exist.
this easily became the best thing on tumblr
DUCKS DO IT TOO
good news, everyone.
oh man. one time i was out with a group of friends, it was around 3 in the morning and we’d all just spilled out of this nightclub, all completely smashed, when one guy goes “OI DID YOU SEE THAT? THAT LIGHT JUST THEN??” and this fUCKING LASER DOT ZOOMS PAST US ON THE GROUND AND WE’RE ALL LIKE YOOOOO DAFUQ IS DIS??? I SWEAR TO GOD WE SPENT NEARLY TEN MINUTES CHASING THIS FUCKING THING AROUND THE STREET BEFORE WE FIGURED OUT THERE WAS SOME ASSHOLE LIKE 10 STORIES UP IN THE APARTMENT BEHIND US PISSING HIMSELF.
so yeah. cats, ducks and drunk college students. fucking idiots the lot of them.
I Don’t Know How Much Vodka I Put In This But I’m Going To Drink It Anyways: a memoir